Music

Music.

Fuck yeah!
And you know what annoys me? People don't really listen to music anymore. This isn't a burn on today's music - although... hahaha. No - what I mean, is that most people can't be bothered to be silent for the duration of a song anymore. You show someone a new song, or play an old one they haven't heard - what happens?
Chances are good they will sit there, barely hiding their impatience, biding their time until 30 seconds or so pass, and they feel they can talk over the song. Even if they love it and it blows their mind - they talk about how great it is - and it's STILL PLAYING!
*sigh*
I don't know. Maybe I just love music too much. But when I hear a song I love, it just fills me with an indescribeable feeling. Words fail. If you know - you'll get it.

I just think that people are missing out. I wonder when this happened? Remember operas centuries ago? Although - that was pretty much the precurser to television in my opinion. But people would just sit and listen for hours on end, letting the sounds, rhythm, melodies, beats, harmonies take them away. 
Old jazz (nothing against new jazz) - you had to sit and listen - the very nature of the music demanded it. If you didn't pay attention you might have missed the most amazing performance of your life. Different every time.
Hippy music in the 60's/ 70's. Come on - those minutes long instrumentals were for getting stoned yeah, but they were also for listening. People sing along to the verses, but the instrumentals are for listening to. And people did, drugged out or not.
I guess it's because in general, we are becoming more of a visual society. Never mind walkmans, discmans, now everything is video - take the music video with you! No thanks. I'd rather hear the music, and see the world around me.
Maybe that's why the world is the way it is. Everyone's so distracted by what they see on their little screens, that they forget to look at the world around them once in a while.
More than a passing glance brushing around the middle distance, as they wait for the light to change

Stained by Daylight

Stained by daylight

I'm always searching for the music. The music that fills my soul and my nights. The type of music that only lives on in the nights with no moon. Nights as dark as your eyes.

Last night you wrapped me up in your music. We were dancing in the darkest corner of our dreams where no one could see us and tell us it wasn't real. Reality always hurts us.

You gave me your voice and you pretended it was your heart, and I pretended to believe you. I let the music carry me away into the dream.

But in the cold morning there was only stillness. The quiet drowns my senses. I always run from the silence. The music stops and I slip out the door. The rising sun burns the dream to ashes.

I can't find the music - the sun is too bright for me to find it. I'm always searching for the music but I can only find it at night.

Daylight kills the dream - but I fear the dream as much as you fear me. Daylight unwraps the hold your song had over me. With my ears full of silence I start looking for the music again.

For another dance. Another collision.

I can only live in the night now. I only live in the music. I only love you when you sing.

And I wish I didn't mind.

Too many mountains between Myself, and Me.

Sometimes I feel a profoundly... unsettled feeling. A malaise if you will, when I think about who I am, and who I want to be.

It's like I get acutely aware of all the other Me's that could be in other dimensions. I wonder what I'm like. All the other possibilities of me.

How maybe they are more ME than I am. A concentrated version of me. More Me than I am. Maybe more Me than I'll ever be.

Maybe you know that feeling. That strange sensation somewhere in the region of your solar plexus/ breastbone. A wistfulness that defies words, and yet radiates a discontent that makes you lie awake at night. Not every night. But enough to make you feel like it never really goes away.

So how am I supposed to get to her? How do I be who I want to be, when I'm not even sure who she is?

I've talked myself out of so many dreams. How do I talk myself back into them?

I'm not That Girl. The girl who Believed in herself. I believed in myself with the passion of a zealot. There was no doubt. The Siren. The Moondreamer. My self assurance covered me like a warm blanket.

But now there's only the cold air of indifference and doubt washing over me; standing alone on the stage.

Maybe another Me in another dimension saw that I wasn't using what talent I had, and she stole it away. Now she's living the life I wish I had. Being the woman I want to be. How can I get it back? Where do I begin looking for it?

And when will I realize when looking for it, that it was never gone at all?