Have you heard the word of full frontal nudity?

So.

The Jehovah's witnesses knocked on my door this morning. I answered and was talking to them. Two ladies in their 60's. The one did more of the talking. She was like - 'We're wondering what you think of the state of the world. What can make it better.'

I was like, 'Well, people. We can make it better.'

Her, 'Well the governments are the ones making things the way they are.'

Me. 'Governments made up of PEOPLE. Who we elect. WE can make things better by electing the better people, or running for office. Or we can write letters and do all we can when we don't agree with what they're doing.'

Then she goes, 'Well you haven't really been around the world long to see what's happening.'

Me, 'I'm a lot older than I look.'

'How old are you?'

'I'll be 31 in a couple months.'

'OMG! I thought you were 17! haha congratulations! What a great way to start your day!'

Me. '...' Side note, I don't think looks are something to be proud of. It's genetic chance. It's not like I have an athletic physique I've spent hours a day cultivating. I had nothing to do with the way I look. It's no big deal, and certainly not an accomplishment. But I digress.

Then she launched into end of days stuff. I read out a line she asked me to about how the world is coming to an end, but the believers will live eternally. I'm paraphrasing. I can't remember it verbatim. I hadn't had coffee yet. :(

She asked what I thought that meant. I said, 'In this context it's saying the world is ending, but the people that believe in god will live eternally.'

She's like, 'Well, the world isn't really ending-'

I'm like, 'Um no. It says 'The world is coming to an end. It says that. Right there, right?"

Her. 'Yes.'

Me: 'Every religion has their own version of end of days.'

Her: 'Yes. They're all saying the same thing.'

Me: 'No, they're not. They have different versions.'

Her: 'Well the world isn't really ending. We'd have to define what the earth is.'

Me. 'No, I think they're pretty specific in the bible about the earth and heavens being different.'

Her. 'Yes.'

Me. 'So if you take part of this sentence literally, you have to take the rest literally. You can't pick and choose.'

Her: 'Well even in the king james version of the bible, it was written in old english, and we don't talk that way anymore. So we have to interpret it with today's language.'

Me: 'No. If the bible is literally the word of god, then it can't be open to interpretation. It has to be taken literally. If you believe god is infallible, and the bible is literally the word of god, then you can't pick and choose.'

Other lady: 'You're right. I agree with that.'

Then the phone rings.

My dad (from his bedroom) shouts my name as the phone is for me. He thinks I'm downstairs instead of by the front door, and he walks into view COMPLETELY NAKED!

So the Jehovah's Witnesses were treated to a 6'2, 240 pound full frontal action shot of my dad.

So yeah. They beat a hasty retreat, and I talked to my work.

Dad had scampered to put clothes on, and was in the kitchen by the time I finished on the phone. I told him he'd just flashed a couple jehovah's witnesses.

My dad cheekily asked, "Well, why didn't they come in?"

And people wonder why I'm the way I am...