Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Co*%&* blocker!

So today I wake up and wait an hour as I have to do after taking my thyroid pill. I can't eat or drink anything until that hour has passed.

Hour's up and I sprint to the coffee... then I realize that. There's. No. CREAMER!!!!!!!


I believe the phrase, 'fuck my life,' was bandied about, but it's all a blur.

I got dressed and walked to Mac's convenience store which is like a 3 minute walk away - not bad, but it's raining.

I get there, and of course they're sold out of half and half cream. *cries*

They only had flavoured kinds, which presented me with a problem; I hate flavoured coffee. But is flavoured coffee better or worse than none at all? So I paced back and forth in front of the cooler, glaring at my subpar choices. Hazelnut = too bitter. French vanilla = I love vanilla, hate FRENCH vanilla. Vanilla toffee caramel = WAY too sweet for me - I don't even take sugar in my coffee. That left White chocolate mocha as the best of a bad situation.

Then I checked it's expiration date. March 2012. Damn it, it's MAY now! I check the bottle behind that one. November 2011!!!

I put it back in the fridge, and resume pacing. I grudgingly grab the vanilla toffee caramel, but then the salesgirl walks by.

I asked the sales girl if there was any more regular cream in the back.

I had to explain what I mean by 'regular cream. "Regular half and half. Plain. Unflavoured. In a carton like the other kinds of milk. It has green on it instead of pink or yellow," (they're colour coded).

When she finally understood me, she went and looked in the back and nope. They were out.


Then, lightbulb moment! The coffee section - they must have tiny creamers, I could swipe a few to get me at least one cup of coffee in the manner to which I've become accustomed!

I walk over and no. No they don't have any. WTF am I going to do, use MILK?! (I know, I know, first world problems)

BUT there's a machine that dispenses half and half cream! YAY! So I go and ask the sales girl, I'm like - "I don't want coffee, I just need creamer, so if I just get a coffee cup and put some creamer in it, can I do that?"

She's like, "Um... I'm not sure I can even do that."

I'm like - "I'm not expecting it for free, you can charge me for it."

She's like, "I wouldn't even know what to charge you for something like that."

I'm like "... probably the price of the cup of coffee..." in my head I'm like 'Omg are you always this stunned? Who the hell are you, the dairy police?

She's like, 'oh. Okay!'

She could have died - she was trying to coffee-block me!

Writers NEED their caffeine - am I right?!


  1. Hahaha! I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh... I don't drink coffee, and I rarely drink caffeine at all, so I don't understand the obsession. I'm glad you found what you needed though. You should put that in a story ;-)

  2. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

  3. Ok, so keeping with the fact that we are TWINS WHO WERE SEPARATED AT BIRTH, I ran out of creamer today too!!! Aaaaaaand I am UGLY without coffee. I don't mean my looks (pssssh duh) I mean my attitude. ;-)

    To add to the horror, I'm watching my mom's dog right now, who for some reason (maybe she hates me?) wakes up at 3:300am EVERY morning to go outside. Maybe this works for my mom, but in a house full of people who HIGHLY VALUE their sleep, it is hell on earth.

    Long story short, I couldn't fall back to sleep after the 3:30am wake up call, so I've been up since then. I had to get Faith down to her "school" for state testing and THEN go grocery shopping. Needless to say, I am only NOW finally having my first cup of coffee as I read your post. LOL!

    And I'm a MUST-HAVE FLAVORED CREAMER kind of girl. Today it is Mexican Cinnamon Chocolate or something, and its freaking divine.

  4. Hey its brett

    Could have pulled that expired cream out so other people don't. Lol.

    1. I could have done it, but I don't think Mac's really cares that much to be honest. The most you get when bringing expired products to their attention is a disinterested shrug. I've learned to be hyper vigilant about checking their expiration dates - especially with the dairy products.

  5. Shades of Scorpius... How did you survive such a harrowing morning?